Finding Sunlight
by Shadow-ofthe-Night35
Summary: Sirius finds his sunlight when he finds Renee. AU! First story, and worst, so, be nice and read some of the other, better ones on my list. :
1. Memories

OOO

Chapter One: Memories

OOO

I suppose you wouldn't understand. There is nothing for me now. When had there ever been? _Before_. There was a meaning _before_. Before everything happened. When someone loved me. When I loved someone—it was all before. Long before. Fourteen years before. That's when there was something. But now—now there is nothing. And it seems as though there never was.

I sit now, at the fireside, with nothing. I am lost. I'm alone. Completely alone, wrapped in my darkness. With nothing.

But no. There is something. Memories. All there is is memories. There are evil memories of the cold, the stone, and the darkness. There are vile memories of the loneliness, the emptiness, the quietness. There are painful memories of before. _Before_.

It was before the cold stone and the empty loneliness. Before I was lost. When I had her. I don't even remember her name now, but my memories dwell on her. They are memories that were the first things They took from me. They were the happiest. These memories that will never fade. That I will never, _ever_ forget.

And how could I? How could I forget them? How could I forget them when in those two years after Hogwarts and before it all happened, she was everything to me. She was all I had. Sure, I had my other friends, but how could I be sure of them, of their trust? She was all I had. She was my one and only. She was my everything…

My memories of her are so clear. Many things that have come back after They took them have returned slowly, faintly, vaguely. Some are foggy, not wholly remembered. But she, the first thing They stole, has come back clearer than ever. She is still my everything, and I don't think I'll ever see her again.

She was beautiful. Her mahogany hair was long, and always up, tight, hidden, almost. Until she met me, she hid it. Because someone had told her it was beautiful, and then he had nearly killed her. So no one ever saw it down again. Then I took it down. And her grey eyes flashed like ice, until I silenced her with a kiss. And she realized that she no longer had to hide…

OOO

_They were sitting by the fire, curled up on one of the red velvet couches. The fire was gradually burning down to embers, as they talked and laughed. There was snow piling up in the corners of the windows, and the sky was dark, the stars and moon hidden by the storm clouds. The embers were all that was left of the fire. _

"_Why do you always tie your hair up?" he asked. "Does it have to do with…Cody? Or is it something else?"_

"_It was Cody," she whispered, snuggling closer to him. "He…was…" she took a deep, shuddering breath, as if trying to hold back tears. "He—we were going out together. Obviously, you know that…everyone knows that. He always told me my hair was beautiful…I should have known something was wrong. _

"_I realized after that I never knew if he loved me for who I was or just because I was pretty. I was blinded by my…infatuation with him. I saw nothing but that he loved me—though he never said if he did. It was implied, of course, in his little smiles and winks, his sweet for-no-reason gifts, and his long, passionate kisses and embraces. I could see no wrong in him. It wasn't until afterward I realized just how stupid I was. _

"_It was a Saturday—and just out of the blue...he came up to me and asked if I would come with him to the Astronomy Tower, where no one would be. I only realized after how dumb I was. I knew that something wasn't right. But I ignored the warning, and followed him. _

"_He told me continuously that I was beautiful, that my hair was beautiful. Some sort of warning went off in my head. But of course I ignored it. 'He never acts this way,' part of me was saying. My other, stupider part ignored it. He…he kissed me again and again…"_

_She was crying now. He held her close and smoothed her hair. She buried her face in his chest, and he barely heard what she was saying. _

"_The he grabbed me. I tried to pull away—I couldn't ignore that he wasn't right now. I pulled out my wand…I didn't know what to do. He knocked it out of my hand, and when I lunged for it, he grabbed me again, and I couldn't get away. He held me by my hair over the edge of the tower. I screamed, but everyone was in classes, and no one heard. He pulled me back in and sat on me. He had a knife—he gave me this."_

_She ran a finger along the scar that ran down her jaw and curled in a swirl under her chin. _

"_I was afraid he was going to kill me…cut my throat and kill me. But he didn't. I think he came to his senses and realized what he was doing. He put the knife away and knocked me over the head. I lay there, unconscious. I think he left… No one found me until much later. It was dark when I opened my eyes…someone was standing over me—Professor Dumbledore, I think. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital wing._

"_We began to avoid each other. Cody and me, I mean. He wasn't perfect any more. And I had the scar as a constant reminder, and I didn't want my hair to remind me as well. So I put it up in a way that I couldn't see any of it. I admit now, I was hiding from my fears. I haven't seen him at all—not even in the hallway—for a few months now. Sometimes I wonder if he left."_

_He didn't tell her that he had seen Cody yesterday, crying in the boys' bathroom on the third floor. When he had asked what was wrong, Cody had answered with a single word: her. He had known immediately that Cody meant the girl he had beaten. He knew Cody was sorry about it. But that girl was totally his now…and there was no way he was giving her back. _

_Slowly he reached over and slid the elastic out of her hair. She gasped and pulled away, slightly. He ran his fingers through its mahogany length, and sighed deeply. _

"_It's gorgeous," he whispered. Her eyes filled with more tears. _

"_I never thought I'd hear that again. I never—" He silenced her with a kiss. She gasped again, and then relaxed in his embrace. He pulled away softly. _

"_How many times over the past few months have I told you? I love you for who you are, not what you look like. How many times do I have to tell you? I love you I love you I love you! You don't have to hide anymore…I can protect you now. You'll never have to hide again. I promise I'll always protect you…always…" They kissed again._

OOO

The memory faded, and I found myself staring into the fire. It had burned down to embers, so much like that night, so many years ago. That had to be sixth year—back when we were sixteen. Now I was older, wiser, perhaps. But I still loved her. Where was she now?

With a pang of sorrow, I realized what I'd done. I had promised to protect her. I had failed her. I had—no, that…that _rat_ had landed me in Azkaban. And then there was no one to protect her.

"What have I done?" I whispered. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I let them fall. There was a soft noise behind me. I could tell the door was opening, but I didn't turn around to see who it was.

"Sirius?" a voice said quietly. I dashed my tears away quickly and turned to look at him.

"Harry?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No." He pulled up a chair, and sat beside me, also staring into the fire. "I just couldn't sleep, that's all."

"Neither could I." More tears burned behind my eyes, and I turned away, standing up to fetch some butterbeer for the two of us. I sat back down, and handed Harry one of the tankards. We sat in silence for a while, staring at the fire. It wasn't a particularly _comfortable_ silence, but it wasn't tense either. It was just…I don't know…silence.

"What are you thinking?" Harry said suddenly. I jumped slightly, but didn't speak for a few moments. I sighed and the thought crossed my mind that Harry was thinking that I wouldn't answer.

"I'm thinking about…someone…"

"Okay."

"Someone I knew…a long time ago. You don't know her…she—she was…I don't know how to describe it. She was…everything…" I brushed away a few more tears, and if Harry noticed, he didn't say anything. "You?" I asked. "What are you thinking of?"

"Nothing in particular," he said. "Well, yes…er."

"Are you thinking of someone as well?"

"Yes. Of…him."

"Voldemort? You normally use his name. What's up?"

"Well, it didn't seem right—I mean. Maybe it's just the darkness, night, you know. It just didn't feel right, saying his name." I nodded and we fell silent again. This silence was even less comfortable than it had been before. The fire was burning down again, Harry having poked it up while I had gotten the butterbeer. When there were just embers left, Harry stood up.

"Listen, thanks, Sirius," he said.

"What for?" I asked, looking up at him.

"For listening." He smiled crookedly and headed up the stairs. The door closed quietly behind him. I stared after him for a minute. Listening? To what? Then I realized what my godson had meant. It wasn't really _listening_ to words or anything like that…it was listening to what he was thinking—well, not really. I guess it was more like just, _being there_ for him. I smiled wryly. It was ironic how his presence had not quite helped me in the same way.

I buried my face in my hands and gave myself over completely to tears. Where was Remus when you needed him? The quiet, intelligent, courageous man had always had a calming affect on me, even while we were at school, those long years ago. But now, more often than not, he was away on secret missions for Dumbledore. His latest one was tracking a certain, suspicious vampire, who Dumbledore personally needed to speak to. The vampire was proving difficult and sneaky, and I thought it probably had something to do the fact that, vampires and werewolves _loathed_ each other. But Remus was the only person for the job.

I looked up at the fire and stared at the embers. My thoughts returned to my everything, the only woman I'd loved. The spheres of glowing red in the fireplace blurred as more tears fell. This was not my usual self. I _never_ cried. The last time I had cried was in Azkaban—about the third year in. After that, I hadn't cried again. Not for eleven years.

Finally, my silent sobs stopped and my tears ran dry. There was a single ember left burning. Darkness settled around me like a cloak and I stood up. It was long past midnight, getting on toward dawn. I sighed and headed up the stairs. I closed the door to the kitchen softly behind me and moved like a shadow across the hall. I headed up the stairs to the last floor before the attic. I turned to the room on the right and headed in. only one candle was burning.

I lit a few more and went to the dresser. I opened the bottom drawer and pulled a set of folded robes out of it. I pressed a hidden button and the bottom of the drawer popped up. In the secret compartment, there was a simple, plain box, which I pulled out. I closed the drawer and sat down in the rocking chair.

I pulled the lid off the box, and looked inside. Pictures. My old pictures from back at school and then from those two years after Hogwarts but before it all happened. There was a picture of James and Lily on their wedding—and I was standing next to them, best man, laughing. There was another of Remus and James. Some of Peter. More of Remus, more of James. One of James tutoring Lily in transfiguration. Many of James and me, or Remus and me. There was one of Severus Snape, our most hated enemy, advancing on James. Snape in the picture had pink-and-purple hair. I laughed softly at that one.

Then there were pictures of her. That mahogany hair falling down around her waist. So many pictures of her. In one of them, she was mock glaring at me, and in another I was holding her. There was the "blackmail picture", as James had called it, of me kissing her under the mistletoe at the Gryffindor Christmas party in seventh year. There was even a picture of her sleeping, where she looked so much softer than she did normally. Because she was tough on the inside, and would stand up to anyone or anything, except Cody.

Then the pictures of those two years. James' nineteenth birthday party, Remus', Lily's, mine. Hers. There were many more of James' and Lily's wedding. There was more than one of the day Harry was born and of his first birthday. So many pictures…

The second to last one had to be the saddest…it was all of us. _All of us…_ On the last day we had gotten together before the fateful thirty-first of October. This probably would have been dated October twenty-fifth…Peter's last birthday. It was James and Lily, Remus, me and her, and Peter…even baby Harry, in his mother's arms. I found I was again crying, and I was slightly angry.

I found a pair of scissors and carefully cut Peter out of the picture. The five of us remained. I stared at it, and then tacked it to the wall, where I could see it, from the bed or the rocking chair. I hung up a few more of Remus and James and Lily, and her and me. Then I sat back down. I was about to put the pictures I hadn't hung back in the box when I noticed something else—two things, actually.

One was a picture that had been drawn by hand. It was us, in our animal forms. There was Prongs, noble and tall, Moony, looking slightly surly for being in wolf from, but happy being with his friends. Wormtail, his tail caught under Padfoot's playful paw. Padfoot himself, dog-grinning and playful. Flightsong, Lily's nightingale form was perched in Prong's antlers, and Shadow, the small black jaguar that was her, looking regal as Padfoot stared at her. She was pretending not to laugh at him. I had to smile at this. I tacked it up in the center of my collage and looked at the other thing I had picked up.

It was a letter. And it was from her…it was dated for a time while I was in Azkaban. I was confused. It was unopened…I'd never read it. _She must've put it here, thinking I'd never find it,_ I thought. Sadly, I slit the envelope and pulled out the sheet of parchment within. I was right:

_Sirius, my love, my only,_

_You'll never see this, will you? You're stuck in the most horrid place in the world…I've tried to visit you, but the Dementors won't let me in. I'm going to Ireland. The Ministry hinted that I was next on the hit list for them to toss in Azkaban…I guess they think that if I'm you're girlfriend I've got to be in league with Him too. They don't understand._

_I know it wasn't you who betrayed Lily and James. I know it was that lying rat, Wormtail. I've told Remus as much, but I don't think he believed me. I'm going to change my name and hide myself away from the world. He'll be the only one of the five of us left. I hope he doesn't lose it. _

_Know that I'll never stop loving you, no matter what. I'm going to find an old friend in Ireland…not that it matters. I just think that maybe you need to know that. I'll be safe with her… Margaret understands I need to hide, but I don't think she'd put up with you…she's good as sisters go, but she's lacking in the sense of humor department._

_I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you. I could go on like that for pages and pages, but I don't have time. The train is coming in five minutes to take me to the ferry to take me to Ireland. I'll never forget you, and I'll never stop loving you. Good-bye my love. I love you. _

_Your Everything, _

_Renee_

I sat up the rest of the night, rereading the letter, over and over until the words were etched into my brain, and I was crying again. As the light outside my window grew brighter and brighter, my tears stopped and the letter dropped out of my hand as I fell asleep, loving her more and more…and knowing now, that I had to find her—even if it was the last thing I'd ever do…


	2. Remembering

A/N: Bold type is Renee third person…and her last name is said Eraque (Air-a-que). The 'que' is pronounced like the Spanish 'qué' (meaning what). Just thought I'd let you know…

OOO

Chapter Two: Remembering

OOO

When I finally woke up, it was sometime after noon. I was slumped in my rocking chair, the box on my knees, its contents spilling onto the floor. It wasn't very dark—the candles had gone out—but somehow the windows were open, and noon light was spilling in.

I sat up and stretched with a yawn. The box fell off my lap, and someone chuckled as I made a sleep-filled clumsy grab for it. I sat up again, and grinned at the man sitting on my bed, with a tray of sandwiches and brownies beside him.

"Hello Moony," I said brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"Hey, Padfoot," Remus Lupin said, also grinning. "How are you this fine and wonderful afternoon?"

"Tired," I said through a jaw cracking yawn.

"Tell me about it," he said with a roll of his eyes and a groan. "Want to play for the brownie?"

"There's only one?" He nodded. What he meant by "want to play" is that we'd see who had a worse month and then they'd get the brownie. We did this often, each of our love of chocolate rivaling the others. I motioned for him to go first.

"You try chasing a nasty, cold-hearted vampire all over Europe for a month. He was afraid I was coming after him to kill him or something, I don't know. I just wanted to tell him Dumbledore wanted him. I didn't want anything else to do with him. Then of course, there was the side trip to Russia to tell the Vampire King I was stalking him. I had to sort that out. And then there was the ritual knife fight when I finally caught him before he'd even listen to me. He wasn't satisfied until he'd nearly silted my throat. Then when he found out I was on Dumbledore's orders he softened right up and was all ready to be my friend. And, naturally, there was full moon while I was somewhere in—er—Poland."

"Ouch. You may win. Try—erm—listening to Snivellius' snide and sarcastic barbs about not doing anything except sitting on my –I'm so—so, I don't know, _disgusted_ with him. Dumbledore keeps sending notes to me about keeping my temper and not doing anything rash, and crap about staying inside. But if someone is damaging pride like mine—I'm admitting to being proud, a little too proud sometimes—how am I supposed to keep my temper!? Then there's the cleaning—although it's more like waging war on this depressing, vile, disgusting, dark, unhappy, friggin, cursed house!"

"Okay—you win. Here," Remus said, tossing me one of the sandwiches and the brownie. I looked at the chocolate and then broke it evenly in half and tossed one part back to my friend.

"What? You won."

"So? Puh-leeze, Remus," I said, taking a bite of my sandwich. "You had to go to RUSSIA of all places!!! And you had to face down the Vampire King, which, I might add, is _very_ intimidating. Trust me, I know. He came to Azkaban to see me once—no don't ask, I don't know why. I'm not letting you off with nothing. And you know I like butterscotch and sherbet balls better than chocolate anyway."

He smiled and we began to laugh. Remus' eyes traveled around the room and landed on the collage I had pinned up during the night.

"Where did you find these?" he asked, his eyes growing grave as he looked at James and Lily.

"In here—this mess," I said, waving a hand at the box's spilled contents. "I found them last night. I didn't look very closely—here—this one will make you laugh—" I slid off the chair and sifted through the mess until I spotted Snape's pink-and-purple hair. Remus took the picture, and laughed.

"Do you want help sorting through this?" he asked.

"Sure—but maybe we'd better go down for a few minutes. You know, let everyone know I'm still alive."

"Good idea," Remus laughed.

OOO

"**Post came, Margaret," the woman said. **

"**Well, that's good." The woman sitting at the table asked. "Anything interesting, Elli?" **

"**No," the younger woman commented with a sigh. "Here." She handed the envelopes to her sister and sat down. Margaret sat back and brushed her blonde curls out of her blue eyes. Her sister looked nothing like her. Elli stared out the window with grey eyes, the sunlight that was streaming in blazing off her straight mahogany hair. She let out another sigh. **

"**This was his favorite time of year," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. **

"**Oh, Elli! If you don't stop moping about him I'm going to kick you out! At least you know he's alive!"**

"**But we don't know that for sure, Meg! The Ministry could have picked him up at any time. And anyone who found him dead or alive would get 100,000 galleons! That's enough for some people to do murder for!"**

"**Yes, but you have some hope of seeing him again! Elli, I saw Mark die—I _saw_ Voldemort kill him! I'll never see him again…" her eyes filled with tears and Elli stood. Coming around behind Meg, she wrapped her arms around her sister. Resting her chin on Meg's head, she closed her eyes to stop the tears. **

"**I'm sorry, Meg," she whispered. **

"**Don't worry about it." Mark was Meg's husband, who had been an Auror in the Dark Times. He had been killed in front of his three year old daughter Catherine and his wife, Margaret—by Voldemort himself. If that wasn't enough for the Order of the Phoenix (Dumbledore's secret fighting force against the Death Eaters and their leader), ten days later, James and Lily Potter had been killed, and their son Harry had somehow, mysteriously, defeated Lord Voldemort. _Those years…_it hurt just to think of them. Elli closed her eyes, and cried. **

"**Renee, don't cry," Margaret said, using Elli's real name. "Don't cry." **

"**Don't use my real name…they might come find me…"**

"**Renee…Renee Renee Renee!!! I'm going to use your real name from now on when we're at home!" Meg said. **

"**But, but…the Ministry? What if they?"**

"**They're not after you anymore! How could they be? Come on Renee, get over it! You'll be fine. So long as no one finds out that you are Renee Black you'll be fine. If you stay Renee Eraque you will be fine! Trust me on this—for once in your life, trust me."**

**Renee nodded. That's when the owl came…as Renee was drying her tears, and Meg was beginning to smile…the owl came…**

OOO

We had finally finished going through all the photos and they were stored in labeled boxes on the shelves in my room (Remus is so much more organized than me). After dinner, I had somehow escaped Snape and the Order's meeting, and had run up to my room to hide.

I sat down at the small but serviceable writing desk in the corner. I rested my head in my hands and stared at its smooth, polished, wooden surface. To think, I had sat in this exact same position so many years ago…before I had run away…

OOO

"SIRIUS ERIK BLACK I WILL KILL YOU AND FEED YOU TO—" _The voice was cut off as the door to the bedroom slammed. There was a soft, concerned hoot from on top of the dresser that stood along one wall. _

"_Mum's at it again, Mercury," the dark brown haired boy said glumly as he leaned heavily against the door he had just slammed. The portrait in the corner sighed. _

"_What did you do this time, my boy?" it said in a whispery voice. _

"_Nothing, Uncle Alphard, I swear," he said standing in front of the picture, arms folded across his chest. "Well, all right, maybe it _was_ me who dumped flour all over the kitchen."_

"_Is that all?" the picture of Uncle Alphard asked in a flat voice, glaring at his favorite nephew. _

"_Erm, no…" Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Okay, okay. I hit the bludger at Regulus, who ducked behind the troll umbrella stand, so that fell over on top of him and then I left him there and started up the stairs when he threw a hex at me, which I ducked and then I threw a hex at him, which started a duel on the stairwell and in the front hall, which finally resulted with Regulus growing turnips out of his ears and he went crying to Mum which got her all riled up and when she started looking for me I ran up to the drawing room and hid but she found me and stared throwing hexes at me, and I couldn't exactly hex her back 'cause then I'd get in deep trouble for sure and then one of her jinxes hit that stupid tapestry, which went up in flames, and so she was going to put that out when I escaped and bolted up here which is when she started screaming her head off at me, and so now I locked and sound-proofed the door so she can't scold me with her tongue or her wand!"_

"_Is that right?" Alphard commented calmly as Sirius fell onto the bed in exasperation. _

"_Yes," he told the ceiling, which he began to make faces at. _

"_Stop that Sirius," the picture said. Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, but stopped. There were a few minutes of silence and then the boy stood up and sat down at the writing desk in the corner, his head in his hands as he stared at the top of it. _

"_Uncle Alphard," he said quietly. _

"_Yes?" the picture sighed. _

"_What would you say if I ran away? If I just left this whole mess behind?"_

"_Sirius…"_

"_I mean…I'm not like _any_ of them…they're ALL in Slytherin and I'm in Gryffindor—which are total opposites. I really don't give a dang as to who's pure-blood and who isn't. I socialize with Muggle-borns and don't care about it—heck, some of my best friends are Muggle-borns! And I think their way of thinking is stupid—no one is better than someone else because of their blood. Right? I mean, it's stupid."_

"_Sirius…" Alphard said quietly. "I won't—I can't—stop you if you decide to run away. I'll miss you, of course…and as you know, you're in my will so that when I die you'll get much of what I own—and you deserve it."_

"_You're not going to die, Uncle Alphard," Sirius said. _

"_Oh, yes, I am," he said, nodding his head. "I'm ninety-eight years old, long, even for a wizard. Dumbledore is one of the only ones to live past a hundred. You'll get a good sum of money—less than what you would have got from your parents—but the best I can do. So go ahead, run. But just know this—you'll have to face them sometime." _

"_Great—but that meeting can wait for many years. D'you think I could leave today?" Sirius was sitting up straight now and suddenly stood. He found his trunk and pulled it open. Opening his dresser he unloaded a stack of socks into the trunk. The next drawer produced Muggle clothes and robes. He gathered books and random wizarding objects from around the room and dumped them on top of the clothing. _

"_Where do you plan on going?" Alphard asked. _

"_Uh, James' house. His parents won't mind."_

"_Uh-huh." The trunk was slammed shut and magically locked. Mercury was settled in his cage and Sirius stood in the center of the room. _

"_Have I forgotten anything?"_

"_The box?" Alphard asked. Sirius opened the bottom dresser drawer and popped open the secret compartment. Inside there lay a simple, plain box. He shoved it into the last nook of his trunk and resealed everything. He blew out all the candles and closed the shutters. He pulled on his cloak and opened the door. _

"_Bye Uncle Alphard. Later."_

"_Yes, my boy. I'll visit shortly to see how you are doing. Good-bye."_

"_See ya." Then Sirius levitated his trunk and made it follow him as he slid down the railing of the staircase. He was opening the back door when—_

"HA!_" The voice was high-pitched and howling. Sirius whipped around, wand raised. _"I HAVE FOUND YOU! YOU FILTHY, SLIMY, ABOMINATION!!! NOW YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD NEVER CROSSED ME!"_ He was fumbling with the latch on the door behind his back. He had to get out of here—quickly. It was clear that he wasn't wanted. Even though he had never liked his parents, he still felt a pang of sadness at the feeling of abandonment. He raised his wand, his hand shaking. _

"_Keep away from me, you evil woman," he said, his voice, miraculously steady. _

"BLOOD TRATIOR!!! SHAME OF MY FLESH!!!! SLIME! MUCK! VILE AND DISGUSTING—"

"_Shut up."_

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!"_

"_I SAID _SHUT UP!!!! _YOU HORRIBLE OLD _HAG!!!! SHUT UP!!!_"_

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?!?"_

"_I SAID—SHUT—UP!!!!!!" The latch on the door fell to the floor as it opened. Sirius fell through it and landed hard on the ground. He kicked the door closed, and all the screaming ceased. He massaged his now sore throat and stood up. The magically protected house was shrinking from view. He watched it until it was completely gone, then heaved a sigh of relief. _

_He was free of them! He should have felt like jumping for joy—but he didn't. What was wrong with him? He hated them, didn't he? Why did he feel depressed? He set off at a quick walk around the side of the house, dragging his trunk—why hadn't he thought to put wheels on it? He had gone only a few blocks when it all caught up to him. He sat down hard on the curb in front of the play-park where his father had used to take him as a small child. Then his head in his hands, the sixteen-year-old wept. _

_Why was he crying? He hated that whole family—every single one of them. Well, not Uncle Alphard or Andromeda, one of his cousins. But there you had it—two out of how many? All the rest were evil foul cockroaches, weren't they? If he hated them, why did it feel like his heart was ripping in two? He had never loved them, right? _

_Why was he weeping? If he really hated them—which he did—why was he afraid? _

OOO

I shrugged the memory away. It was just a memory…nothing more. After an hour of weeping, I had sent the trunk and Mercury all the way to James' house with a note telling him what had happened. Then I had used dog-form and gotten there two days later.

That had been a fun summer. James and I had had a great time, and his parents were awesome, really nice. Plus they liked me, which was a total bonus—and they invited me to stay with them over Winter and Spring holidays, as well as the next summer until I got a place of my own.

Uncle Alphard, of course, checked on me regularly—almost every week, which was okay, because he and Mr. Potter hit it off really well, both having the same hobby of Magi-zoology, though their real jobs were far from hunting out and learning about magical creatures. When Uncle Alphard died over the spring holidays during sixth year, Mrs. Potter was kind enough to arrange a low-cost funeral for him—my mother had forgot her brother existed. And I was left with a heap of gold.

So I rented a flat that was in walking distance from the Potters' as James still lived at home for another year. When he moved into the house next-door to my flat when he married Lily, I was even closer to him—and Mr. and Mrs. Potter Senior were still glad when we showed up for Sunday tea.

But these memories led to a bad time period in my life. So I blocked all thought out of my mind and left my room. I went down to my mother's old bedroom and fed Buckbeak—my (cough, stolen, cough) hippogriff. Then still blocking thought, I went back upstairs and decided it was time for me to go to sleep…

OOO

"**So what did the letter say again?"**

**Renee and Meg were eating dinner. It was late, Meg having had an emergency at work that kept her late. But now she asked the same question for what seemed the hundredth time. **

"**It was from Dumbledore," Renee sighed. "He asked if I wanted to come to Hogwarts to teach Care of Magical Creatures. I guess Hagrid, the usual teacher, is away for part of the year—I'm guessing it's Order of the Phoenix business. Remember Hagrid?"**

"**How could anyone forget him? But he's teaching? That's good for him. So I presume you're going to take the job?"**

"**Yes. I'll be safer at Hogwarts then anywhere else. You could come as well, Dumbledore said. You could just camp out, or he commented that he had an empty Ancient Runes position. I guess there are two teachers—one for O.W.L. level and one N.E.W.T., which should be interesting." **

"**When do you write back to him?" Meg asked. **

"**Oh, I'll probably respond tomorrow. Affirmative for both of us? We're both going?"**

"**Yes. This should be a very interesting year."**


	3. End of Exile

OOO

Chapter Three: End of Exile

OOO

The next morning, I stopped at the bottom of the stairs to the hall and nearly laughed out loud. The noise was deafening. The picture of my mother, usually with its curtains neatly closed and silent, was openly screaming.

"—FILTHY HALF-BREEDS, BESMIRCHING THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!!! MUDBLOODS! SCUM! CREATURES OF DIRT! FILTH! BY-PRODUCTS OF SCUM AND VILENESS!!! SLIME! MUCK!—" No one bothered to close the curtains.

"Does anyone want to close those idiotic curtains so that the Hag will shut up?" I shouted over the din, using my private nickname for her.

"She'll just rip them open again in this amount of noise!" Remus said. "Come into the kitchen! We'll possibly get some piece of quiet down there." I waded across the press of people, owls, cages, cats, trunks, brooms, cauldrons, and random Dark artifacts that had been left lying around and fell though the door that led to the stairs to the kitchen. It slammed behind me as someone was shoved into it. I wiped my hand across my forehead and entered the basement.

I sat down across from Remus, next to Harry. We were the only ones who had managed to get this far. Remus produced a stack of toast and Harry found some tea.

"How'd you sleep?" Harry asked me.

"Better than two nights ago," I said with a dog-like grin. "You?"

"Same."

"Wait—two nights ago—am I missing something?" Remus said through a bite of toast.

"Yeah…neither of us could sleep and we had a sort of unexpected rendezvous in here. Butterbeer is amazing at midnight." Harry explained. The three of us laughed, but stopped when we heard muffled explosions and bangs from above. We stared at the ceiling.

"Okay…?" Remus said.

"Somehow I find I do _not_ want to investigate," Harry said, smiling.

"Aw, come on," I said. "You guys are no fun." I stood up and started toward the stairs. But before I even began to climb them, the door at the top burst open and a storm of sound hit me full force.

"AND DON'T YOU EVEN _THINK_ OF COMING BACK UNTIL YOU'VE LEARNED SOME CONTROL! I DON'T _BELIEVE_ YOU! YOU COULD HAVE _KILLED_ SOMEONE!" There was a blast from a wand and Fred and George came flying, back end first, down the stairs. The door above slammed again and both Molly Weasley and my dear sweet mum fell silent.

There were a few moments of echoing silence as Fred and George stood carefully. One twin was rubbing his back, the other his shoulder—where they had landed.

"Hey, Sirius, mate," Fred said finally, scuffing his foot along the stone. "You might think about getting some softer floors."

"Yeah," George piped up. "These are a wee bit hard, especially if you keep tumbling down like we seem to be having so much help doing."

I think Harry started—it might have been Remus—but we were all laughing hysterically. It lasted a long time. We barely noticed when Ron and Hermione came in and sat down, staring at us. When we finally stopped, Harry had fallen out of his seat, George was hiccupping, Fred was crying, Remus was taking deep breaths to avoid passing out, and I was clutching the sharp pains in my sides.

"What was _that _all about?" Hermione said suspiciously. We looked at each other and burst out into a new fit of laughter, which we explained through. Ron let out a great "ha" of laughter when we had finished, and Hermione looked skeptical.

"I hardly find it all _that_ funny," she said.

"You would have had to have been there Hermione," Remus explained. We all looked up as the door opened with another burst of sound, then closed again. Tonks entered.

"Is there, like, a brawl going on up there or something?" I asked as the Auror sat down.

"No—well, a verbal one," she said, running a weary hand through her bubble-gum pink hair. "Molly is just having a shouting match with your mum—they're trying to see who can screech loudest."

"What in Merlin's name possessed her to do that?" I asked, half rising out of my seat.

"No point in stopping her now—she's just gotten into her stride—poor Mundungus," Tonks said.

"Yes, but we have to leave," Remus commented. "It's almost eight and we've got to get to King's Cross early. Is Alastor here?"

"Mad-Eye? Yes, he's trying to get Molly to shut up."

"Well, then," I said, fake-cheerfully. "Let's step out into the upper, colder, danker, and much, much louder part of the world we know, shall we?" Slowly, the others stood, laughing. Once we all made our way up into the known world, Remus and I headed straight for my mum's portrait and managed, between the two of us, to get those darn curtains closed. Then, before she could get them open again, I transfigured the two curtains into one.

"Why didn't we think of that before?" Remus asked as we heard only muffled, quiet screams and oaths from the portrait that was madly trying to open the curtain again.

"No idea," I said. "Although, I'm sure she'll figure something out—eventually." Remus snorted and then his smile faded. "What are we going to do about Molly?"

"No idea," I said again, grinning. Remus' lips twitched.

"How can we get her to stop?"

"No idea."

"Sirius, stop. Think here….what can we do…Fred, George. Any ideas? Sirius?"

"No idea," Fred, George and I all said at exactly the same time. We suppressed laughter.

"I'm serious," Remus said.

"No," I said. "I am." Remus sighed exasperatedly as the twins and I laughed. "If you use that old joke one more time I'm going to—do you have any idea how old that is?"

"No idea," I said. Finally Remus gave up trying to hold it in. He began to laugh with the rest of us. "So, do we know how old that joke is?" I commented.

"No—well, yes. James and you came up with it in first year. So that's got to be somewhere around '71, so that's…uh, well a long time," Remus said, chuckling. "Let's get a move on, shall we?" he said, motioning toward the rest of the crazed hallway.

Everyone had finally shut up—it had taken more than a few golden firecrackers out of Remus' wand to get them all quiet. The party who was going to King's Cross was half on the pavement and half still in the hall when the owl flew in through the door. It landed on my shoulder and held out its leg. Remus gave me a quizzical look and I shrugged, baffled, taking the letter off.

"It's from Dumbledore," I said with certain shock showing on my face. My eyes hardened. "If he's writing to tell me to stay inside one more time—"

But as I read the first few lines, my scowl disappeared and I began to grin:

_Sirius,_

_I understand how hard it must be on you to be cooped up in Grimmauld Place. I know how much you dislike it. So therefore, I have an alternative route. _

_If you would like, you may accompany my students and their guard to King's Cross—in your other form. You may get on the train and come to Hogwarts. Please note that when you arrive, you will not take the carriages but shall rather run up to the castle and speak with me before the masses arrive. Be very careful not to be seen by anyone who knows about your special powers. _

_I know it is hard to remain invisible on the platform, but once on the train and at the Hogsmeade station, _you must not be seen_. Remember that…you must not be seen. If anyone knows you are here…_

_Be very careful, Sirius. Do not be seen. _

_Albus Dumbledore_

I whooped and began to laugh. Remus stared at me and I tossed the letter to him. He smiled as he read it and laughed as well. Then suddenly, his face fell.

"What about me? And headquarters? Can you just leave us all behind?" he asked, bursting my bubble.

"Oh," I said. "Well…I don't know, I mean." My face fell too. Remus began to smile, then chuckle, then he burst into full blown laughter!

"Oh, I got you there, Padfoot old friend! I, for once, have hoodwinked you as you so often do to me! Ha!" he said with a whoop. Finally I understood that he had totally laid a joke on me. I began to laugh as well—Remus had always told me that one of my great characteristics was the ability to laugh at myself.

"Oh, you're so lucky!" he said, handing the letter back to me.

"Lucky!" I said. "I have to go face Lucius at the platform! You call that lucky?"

"Yeah, I do! It's better than chasing a mad vampire around Russia." I laughed and transformed eager to get to out of Grimmauld Place and back to Hogwarts.

OOO

"**Renee, come on!" Margaret yelled up the stairs. "We'll be late!" Renee rushed down, dragging a trunk behind her. **

"**It's just like old times," she said. "When we used to go to Hogwarts. Every year, we went through the same thing…and I was always late!" **

"**Yes, you were," Meg said with a chuckle. "Lets go." Each grabbed her trunk and apparated to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. They got there early, and it was already crowded with students, animals, parents, trunks, cages, and anything else in the world. The two sisters made their slow way through the crowd toward the front of the train where there was a compartment before the prefect's ones that was reserved for teachers. **

**Quite suddenly, Meg dropped her trunk with a thud.**

"**Remus!" she shouted. A man of average height turned in her direction. He had short light brown hair and amber eyes. Meg ran over to him. "Remus, do you remember me?"**

"**Meg?" he said, disbelievingly. She nodded. "Oh, my God, Meg!" he caught her in a bear hug. "The last time I saw you we were at Lily and James' wedding! Oh, God, it's been too long." **

**It was Renee's turn to drop her trunk. She had just seen something that made her heart jump into her mouth. Directly behind Remus, romping around a boy with dark hair and glasses was a monstrous sized black dog. **

"**Sirius," she whispered. "Oh gods." **

"**Renee, are you all right?" Meg asked. **

"**Yes," she said, exhaling explosively as she realized she had been holding her breath. "Yes I'm fine." She quickly levitated the trunks onto the train and into the luggage racks. Meg stayed on the platform talking to Remus and the others. **

**Renee and Meg had been good friends with Lily and the Marauders when they were at school and after. But Meg had refused Remus' advances in favor of Mark, a handsome Ravenclaw (which was her House). But they had remained close friends because of Renee's connections with Sirius. Mark and Remus had even made a joke that Mark had stolen Meg right from under Remus' nose. Then it had all fallen apart when Mark, Lily and James had been killed, Sirius thrown in Azkaban, Renee and Meg in hiding and Remus totally devastated. But that was the past.**

**Meg stayed on the platform for a long while talking to Remus, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (who had been a few years ahead of the Marauders), Tonks and Shaklebolt, the former two years behind, the latter two years ahead, and 'Mad-Eye' Moody, who had long graduated by the time they all had gotten there. **

**Finally the whistle blew and Meg hurried aboard into the compartment were Renee was waiting. Renee looked out the window searching for the black dog, but it had disappeared, along with the children. The adults who had come as the kids' guard were waving at the fifth compartment. **

"**Renee?" Meg asked. Her sister jumped. "Are you okay? You look pale." Renee said nothing but stood up and left the compartment as the train began to move. Meg did not follow her, knowing she was in one of her 'moods' when she preferred to be alone. **

**Renee made her way to the fifth compartment and opened the door. Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Harry Potter stared up at her from their seats. The dog was sprawled at Harry's feet. **

"**Excuse me," she said, staring at the dog and the students stared at her. "I'm sorry for the intrusion. Can one of you direct me to the train's lavatory?" **

"**Of course," Ginny said. "Straight down the train, that last compartment."**

"**Thank you," Renee said. "By the way, I'm Professor Eraque. I'll be teaching care of Magical Creatures for part of the year. Thank you again." Then she slowly drew away. The dog had sat bolt upright at the sound of her name. Now it scrutinized her as she withdrew. It seemed to wink as she closed the door. **

**She caught her breath and went back to her compartment. She sat down with a sigh and stared out of the window. **

"**Are you alright?" Meg asked. **

"**Yes," she said with a smile. "Yes, I'm wonderful." And she meant it. Because she was now positive that the black dog was Sirius Black. And if he was coming to Hogwarts, she was absolutely positive that it would be a fun and exciting year. **


	4. Wink, Smile, Laugh

OOO

Chapter Four: Wink, Smile, Laugh

OOO

"By the way, I'm Professor Eraque. I'll be teaching Care of Magical Creatures for part of the year. Thank you again." Then she was gone.

I grinned as well as a dog could. Then I stood up and began to bound around the compartment. I was so excited, I didn't care if I made a fool of myself.

"Snuffles, are you okay?" Harry asked. I barked quietly, and went back to my jumping.

"You know," Neville Longbottom said. "That has to be the strangest dog I've ever met. Harry, I don't think I could stand having him around all the time. He's not going to be staying in the dormitory, is he?"

"No," Harry said. "He's got business with Dumbledore, and I'm just bringing him along. We probably won't see much of him once we get to Hogwarts."

"Good," Neville said. "He's slightly large to live with us. And a little excitable."

"He's always been like this."

"Oh. You know, his name doesn't really fit. Snuffles?"

"We call him Dogbreath normally."

"That's even worse, poor thing." I bounded over to Neville and licked his face, one swipe with my tongue, from chin to hairline. "Ack!" The boy wiped his face with the end of his sleeve. "No, Dogbreath fits…phoo. You should try cleaning his teeth sometime, Harry. That's supposed to improve their breath."

I looked at Harry and he looked at me. We both burst out laughing. (I wasn't really _laughing_ exactly, but you get the idea.) Poor Neville didn't understand at all why we were laughing, and Harry couldn't explain that I was perfectly capable of brushing my own teeth and did so every morning and evening.

Slowly, the train made its way out of Muggle farmlands and into the wild moors. I was finding it harder and harder to wait until we got to Hogwarts to speak with Renee. Although I couldn't do that until _after_ the Welcome Feast, probably. It was slowly grating on my nerves, and I became less excited and more susceptible to growling. I _really _wanted to see her.

Finally the train pulled into the Hogsmeade station. I gave Ron, Hermione and Ginny each a lick, and rested my head on Harry's knee. I gave each of them a grave look, and hoped I'd gotten the message of _Be Careful_ across. Then I raced out of the compartment and off the train before anyone else had disembarked, effectively avoiding anyone who might know of the 'Great Disguise'. I tried desperately not to scare the Thestrals as I passed by on my way up to the castle. I ran up the steps to the oak doors and found one slightly ajar. I shoved it open and entered. It wasn't raining, but I shook my coat out anyway—it was habit adopted over the years.

"Ah, Snuffles," Professor McGonagall was walking towards me; her eyes twinkled slightly as she used the nickname that had become Harry's code word if there were others listening to the conversation. I barked sullenly at her. "None of that now, Dogbreath." The use of James' insult-between-friends-name made her eyes twinkle more. This had to be the closest she'd come to laughing—excluding the time when Professor Slughorn had sent her a recording of my blistering speech to him—in front of his class—about why he should not be prejudiced and how bad his behavior to Muggle-borns had been, which was in sixth year, when she actually _had_ laughed.

"Professor Dumbledore wishes to speak with you in here," she said, opening a door off the Entrance Hall. I padded into the room and looked around. I shuddered as I was reminded of the first time I had ever had a meeting with Dumbledore. It had been in this chamber, not his office. The reason he had given was that his office was in shambles after a Dueling Club meeting he had hosted that summer. But I knew the real reason. Dumbledore had wanted a soundproof room for that meeting—my mother had been present.

OOO

"_Mr. Black, the Headmaster wants you," Filch's voice sounded right behind Sirius. He'd never get used to it. It was his first full day at school and he realized at once that no matter how many times the old caretaker did that, he'd never get used to it. _

"_Why?" Sirius asked. _

"_He didn't tell me. He just said to bring you. Come on." Filch practically dragged the eleven-year-old away from his breakfast. _

"_Done something already, Cousin?" Bellatrix spat from her seat among the third year Slytherins as he passed. "I didn't expect you to get into trouble so quickly…why you've only been here one night! I didn't expect that even from you."_

"_Bella, if you don't shut your trap, I'm gonna shut it for you," he said. _

"_As if you could." Sirius ignored this except to make a not-so-nice hand gesture at his cousin. Filch dragged him away into the Entrance Hall and opened a door that led to one of the many antechambers. _

"_Here he is, Headmaster," he wheezed. _

"_Thank you, Argus. You may leave now." Sirius was roughly shoved into the room and the door closed behind him. He immediately saw—or rather, heard—why he'd been summoned. _

"_YOU!" his mother screamed at the sight of him. "YOU—YOU—I DON'T _BELIEVE_ YOU!" _

"_Now, now, Sylvia. Calm down," Sirius's father said. He was always calm during his wife's outbursts. But Sirius could see, in the way his father held himself, the way his voice hissed through his teeth, that the man was just as angry as his wife. "I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding."_

"_MISUNDERSTANDING MY HAT!" _(Though the actual word had not been 'hat') _"I DEMAND AN EXPLAINATION, YOU OLD FOOL!"_ _The last comment had been directed at Dumbledore, who had continued to stand behind the small table, quite calm. Sirius was shocked that his mother would even dare to think of calling the greatest wizard of the time an 'old fool' let alone actually say it to his face. _

"_I have nothing to do with this, Sylvia," Dumbledore said. "The Sorting Hat placed your son in Gryffindor, not me. I'm sure it had its reasons."_

"_THAT, YOU IDIOT, IS NOT AN EXPLAINATION! THAT IS A FOOLISH STORY CONCOCTED BY AN OLD CRAZY LOON!!! GIVE ME ANSWERS!!! AND IF IT REALLY IS THAT OLD BASTARD HAT'S FAULT, GET IT IN HERE SO THAT I MAY BLAST IT TO SMITEREENS!!!!!" _

_Sylvia Black was now completely out of control. She was spitting furiously and he eyes bulged. Sirius began to wonder if she was going to explode. _

"_I'm sorry, madam," Dumbledore said. "I can not have you—er—blasting the Sorting Hat to smithereens. I can, however, possibly make an exception to the rules."_

"_Which rules, Dumbledore?" Henry Black asked through still-clenched teeth. Sirius could now see that Henry was on the edge of blowing up himself and he got ready to cover his ears for when his father started screaming as loudly as his mother. _

"_The rules that state that the Sorting Hat has the final say," the Headmaster said, still calm and quiet. "If Sirius chooses, he will be allowed to switch his House from Gryffindor to Slytherin. _If_ he chooses."_

"_He will switch his House," Henry said. "He has no say in the matter. Move his things to Slytherins' dorms this instant."_

"_Ahem," Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Actually, Sirius has the only say in this matter. It is not up to you or Sylvia, Henry. Sirius? What is your decision?"_

_Sirius looked at Dumbledore, hardly believing his ears. He didn't have to go into Slytherin! It was all his choice. He could put his head down and carry his tail between his legs and head for Slytherin, and give in to his parents again. But if he did that now, he would continue doing that again and again, until every decision was not his own. Or he could boldly raise his head and wag his tail and stick to Gryffindor. That was, after all, where the Sorting Hat placed him. And if the Sorting Hat thought he belonged there, then he belonged there. He looked away from Dumbledore. _

_His mother caught his eye and gave him a look that spoke louder than any screaming that if he did not choose Slytherin he would not live another day as part of the Black Family. In fact, he would not live another day period. He knew every curse, hex, or jinx she could throw at him. There was a whole list posted in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. The list listed each and every curse that Sylvia Black would place on the house's servants if anything went wrong. Sirius had unfortunately been present at one too many of her examples to not know the effects of the curses. Now, her eyes told him that not only one, but all of them would be placed upon him if he chose to stay in Gryffindor. A glance at his father said that Henry agreed with Sylvia wholeheartedly. _

"_Well," he started, carefully looking at neither of his parents. "The Sorting Hat considered putting me in Slytherin, but it told me that was far too much like following the crowd. Then it suggested Ravenclaw, but said that that House wasn't rebellious enough for my nature. It skipped right over Hufflepuff and stuck me in Gryffindor. And…I agree with it about Ravenclaw. The Ravenclaws are all too smart and studious for me. I need to get into a little bit of trouble now and then. And frankly, I don't like the idea of being in Slytherin simply because every single one of them hates me already, and I hate them…so I think I'll stick with Gryffindor."_

_Dumbledore smiled. "You've made a good choice, Sirius. Now I believe if you do not hurry, you shall be late for Transfiguration." The Headmaster winked and gave the first year a look that said clearly 'I'll handle these two.' Sirius smiled back and made his escape while his mother was still speechless. As soon as he exited she found her voice. _

"_SIRIUS ERIK BLACK!!! GET BACK IN HERE!!! I'M NOWHERE NEAR FINISHED WITH YOU! YOU HAVE DEFIED ME, YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME! YOU HAVE NO PLACE IN OUR FAMILY! YOU—" Her voice was cut off as the door swung shut. Sirius breathed a deep sigh of relief and went off to see if Remus Lupin, a boy he'd met on the train, had found his way to Transfiguration yet. _

OOO

I now entered that same room, but this time I was glad to enter it, not angry about being taken from breakfast. The 'meeting' with my parents had not been the last time I'd used the soundproof room before graduating Hogwarts. I'd used it often, in fact, every time I received a Howler from my dear sweet mum I'd asked the owl why it hadn't dropped the red letter in the lake and the bolted into the room to drop it in and leave. I never actually listened to the Howlers. They only said crap anyway.

As I entered I found Dumbledore seated at the same small table he'd been at that first day. I transformed and grinned.

"Hello, Sirius."

"Hello, Professor. You do know that I appreciate this more then anything?"

"Yes, I thought you might feel that way. Sit down, Sirius, and I will explain," Dumbledore said. "I did not bring you here only because of your wishes to leave Headquarters. Though that _did_, I'm afraid, have something to do with it. We were all a wee bit tired of your sulking. I do hope you understand." I nodded, grinning sheepishly. I hadn't been on my best behavior, and I knew it. I spent more time alone or sulking, complaining or griping. And I knew it was getting on everyone's nerves, but when I tried to stop, it only made it worse.

"We understand why you felt like that," Dumbledore continued. "But we also thought you better here—for more than that reason. Some of us wanted to leave you there in your misery—" the look he gave me warned me not to say anything, but I'd already guessed that he meant Snape. "—while others wanted to send you out to recruit for the Order. I gently reminded them that you were known as a murderer in most wizarding communities, and, therefore, can not go recruiting. We finally settled on bringing you here. You have new orders."

"You mean they aren't 'stay inside, don't do anything rash, do not be seen' anymore?" I asked eagerly.

"Well, no. That's still part of it. Mad-Eye has been kind enough to give you this." The Professor held out an Invisibility Cloak. "And Harry decided this belongs to you more than to him." He handed me a blank sheet of parchment. I stared at it for a moment, and then looked closer at it, noticing the frayed edges, small tears, and numerous creases. I flipped it over and tapped it once with my wand. In each corner a letter appeared. P, P, M, and W. I smiled, and turned it right-side-up.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," I muttered, touching the parchment with my wand. Thin lines appeared on the surface in green ink. Slowly they formed a magical map of the entire school, complete with secret passageways, unidentified rooms, and (the best feature) tiny dots representing every single person, with labels. Across the top these words were written:

_Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief- Makers are proud to present: The Marauder's Map. _

I smiled looking at these. The Marauder's Map had to have been our (James, Remus, Peter, and I) greatest creation. We'd chiefly used it for sneaking to the kitchen at night, and playing pranks on people. But we'd also used it for something far more important: every month, James, Peter and I would sneak out of the castle under James' Invisibility Cloak, down to the Shrieking Shack to help Remus while he was in his werewolf form. We used the Map to make sure nobody followed us, or that we ran into anyone. We figured that the only person who knew the school, grounds, and Hogsmeade better than the four of us was Dumbledore.

"Thank you, sir," I said. "And I promise to thank Mad-Eye the next time I see him. But why are you giving me these?"

"To protect Harry."

"What?" I was seriously confused. I understood that Harry might be sustaining attacks all year, but he was at Hogwarts now. Wasn't that all the protection he needed? Now that he was under Dumbledore's nose (along with McGonagall and a few others in the Order) wouldn't he be safe?

"I need you," Dumbledore said heavily, "to use the Invisibility Cloak and the Map to watch and tail Harry everywhere he goes. He may need your Dueling skills at any time, and I figured you should be close. Also, if you are here, _you_ are not a target for Voldemort."

"I wasn't one at headquarters either," I commented grimly. "You are Secret-Keeper. No one can know where to find me."

"But that's the thing, Sirius," he said. "The Enemy knows you are out there. He's going to try to kill you eventually. You are too great a threat to him, even with all the murderer business. And he needs you out of the way to get to Harry. He knows we've been keeping you at Headquarters—or at least, he knows you're not in Tibet—" I laughed at that. Kingsly had been feeding the Ministry information that I was hiding in Tibet to escape them. "—if he thinks you're still in hiding, he will continue looking for you in all the wrong places. He won't even think of looking here, as he does not think I would risk one of his underlings' sons or daughters seeing you and reporting."

"So I'm here to keep me safe. But I still don't understand why I need to be here for Harry," I said. Dumbledore sighed tiredly.

"Think of it this way: you were the top in your class at Defense Against the Dark Arts, you were the captain of the Dueling Club, and you knew every hex, jinx, and curse there is to know. We need that knowledge to protect Harry from any and all attacks. It is possible that he could be attacked at any place, at any time. You need to be there for him…we can't have him dying when it is not the right time."

"Right," I said, still unsure. "I think I get it. Will Harry be alerted to my presence? And where am I to follow him?"

"He is not to know you are there, unless the occasion arises where you must help him. Try not to interfere unless it is absolutely necessary. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor," I said, sounding like I was back in third or fourth year and had just been caught for filling Professor Slughorn's classroom with Shrinking Solution laced with a potion that made one spring out in boils. (Yes, James and I actually did that, fourth year.)

"As for your second question: the answer is everywhere," Dumbledore continued. "Anywhere and everywhere that he goes, you go with him. All his classes, all his extracurricular activities—Quidditch practice, study groups—Hogsmeade trips. Everywhere."

_What about if he goes into a boom cupboard to snog a girl?_ But I didn't say this out loud. The twinkling in Dumbledore's eyes was enough to tell me that he'd guessed my thinking.

"Sirius, you may wait outside, if that occasion occurs." I didn't ask how he'd read my mind. I figured it to be some obscure and rare form of magic. "Now! To the Great Hall, may its splendor never fade, and may the feast begin. They all must be nearly here."

"Sir, we ran a little overtime," I said consulting my watch. "They're probably waiting."

"Dear me! This is a first! For tonight, you may stand behind me in your dog form. I will make sure you are fed."

"But sir," I protested. "Won't people like Draco Malfoy see me? They must know of the useless Great Disguise by now."

"Do not worry. Tonight, I shall keep you shielded from their view by using a strange and wonderful form of magic. Very few will be able to see you. And if they do, it won't matter, as they are on our side. Now transform, and come along. We have kept the poor hungry souls waiting long enough!"

OOO

"**Oh! Renee! Meg!" a voice called over the crowded Entrance Hall. Professor McGonagall was wading her way over to us. **

"**Hello, Professor," Renee said. **

"**Hello. I'm to show you your rooms after the feast. If I sit too long talking, remind me. I'm not likely to forget, but you can never tell. Now, come along. We don't want to keep the feast waiting for us." **

**The three women herded the last of the straggling students into the Great Hall and entered behind them. The magnificence of it would never cease to stun Renee, she thought, as for the first time in fourteen years she looked upon the sky-mirroring ceiling. Then as she scanned the staff table, she saw a more, less pleasant surprise. **

**Severus Snape was sitting to the left of Dumbledore's golden chair, sneering down at her. The new professor stopped in her tracks so that Meg bumped into her. **

"**Keep going," the elder sister whispered. Renee did not glance back, nor did she take her eyes from Snape's face. This was the man who had made her life living hell back in sixth year, after the Cody fiasco. Now he was back, and she had a sickening, sinking feeling that this year was going to be no easier. **

"**Meg, please take the seat next to him," Renee whispered. **

"**Me?" Meg breathed, horrified. "He's the one who sold Mark out to Voldemort! I can't sit next to the man who killed my husband!"**

"**Would you do it for me?" Renee pleaded. "You know what he did to me." **

"**Renee…I can't…I'm sorry." Renee sighed heavily and made her way over to the teachers table, conscious of the students' staring. **

"**If you'll make me…" she muttered through gritted teeth. She grinned inwardly as she felt Meg flinch beside her—her sister knew she'd pay for this later. **

"**Ah…Professor Eraque…" Snape said as she sat down next to him with a grimace. "Or should I say Elli?"**

"**Very funny _Snivellius_," she murmured with as much contempt as she could muster. If the man felt anything at the sound of his 'nickname' he showed no sign of it (though Meg said later she thought his hand spasmed on the way to his goblet). The two former-enemies-now-co-workers said not a word more to each other throughout the Sorting ceremony, which was nervous enough, being preformed when Dumbledore's chair stood empty. **

**Three minutes later, just as the first years were wondering what happened next and the older students were getting parched and starving, the Headmaster appeared. Renee jumped slightly, as did McGonagall and a few Gryffindors, including the black haired, Harry Potter. Standing next to Dumbledore was a huge black dog. Renee felt her heart jump into her throat at the sight of him, looking so beautiful and regal. She sighed again. **

**As they sat down to the feast, the dog sat behind Dumbledore, but kept shooting sidelong, longing glances down the table at her. She smiled and dropped her hand under the table, beckoning to him. He trotted over to her happily and she dropped him a sausage. The next thing to drop was a note she'd written him on the train: **

**_Please, I need to speak with you…hear your voice again…please. Come find me tonight. Please…Love, Renee_. **

**She'd turned her attention back to the students in the Hall as he read it, but when he nudged her hand again she looked down. He nodded and winked then put his forepaws up on the table in search for more sausages. She stifled a laugh, realizing that no one but certain people could see him. She smiled again and pulled the plate of sausages toward her so he could grab a few. One of the ones he'd licked, she noticed, found its way onto Snape's plate. She stifled another laugh. **

**Yes…with Sirius here, this would be a _very_ interesting year indeed. **

OOO

Sirius snuffled the sausages she had moved closer for him. He dog-grinned and rolled one on to Snape's plate, licking it. When the Potion's Master ate it, he couldn't help but choke back dog-laughter. Watching Harry, tormenting Snape, and (_finally, FINALLY_) talking with Renee again…oh yes…this year would be the best year since 1977…


	5. We Meet Again

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Phantom of the Opera, nor anything by the Tremoloes, the Four Tops, or the Foundations. Just thought I'd let you know. Oh, and while I'm at it, I don't own HPstuff either—the only things I _do_ own would be Renee and Meg. Sadly, that's it.

OOO

Chapter Five: We Meet Again…

OOO

"**So _Professor_," Snape said, as the staff made its way up to the meeting room adjacent to the staffroom to discuss the year ahead. "You came back. Why?"**

"**You leave me alone," Renee muttered. "I haven't forgotten sixth year…"**

"**That's a long time to hold a grudge, love."**

"**Shut up."**

"**Hem, hem. Not acting like teenagers, are we?" a voice said behind them. They whirled to see a short, dumpy looking witch, who looked something like a toad. Renee recognized her only by sight: she was the one who'd been sitting next to Meg on McGonagall's left—the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor—Umbage? Rumbridge?—something of the sort. **

"**Of course not," Snape said, lip curling. It was a look that would curdle milk, but somehow the short woman stared it down. Renee wasn't impressed, though. She moved away from the unsavory pair and entered the staffroom with Meg, sighing with relief at her escape from Severus. **

"**So," Meg asked. "Did you find the Potions Master in good spirits?" Forget good spirits. He was just as horrible as ever. **

"**Certainly," Renee said aloud. "At least he has not renewed those sentiments that he so professed in sixth year yet."**

"**I'm sure he will."**

"**I'm sure he won't. If he does—if he says one single thing along those lines, I'll—I'll—I'll punch him in the mouth, knee him in the groin, slap him in the face and run from the room screaming bloody murder."**

"**That'll make the students laugh."**

"**And then I'll tell Dumbledore. You've stated the obvious again. And if Dumbledore doesn't do anything about it, I'll do it all again, over and over until he gets the point and leaves me alone. I—" she broke off as Dumbledore stood up and the last staff members took seats around the large table. **

**Dumbledore spoke of what was going on, of how Voldemort was returned (a statement that the dumpy toad-woman snorted with contempt at), and how that would affect Hogwarts. He mentioned something about new safety measures and a few other things. It went quickly, but seemed to drag on longer for Renee as she simply wanted to get to her room or find Sirius, whichever came first. Finally Dumbledore sat down. Renee made to get up and ask McGonagall where her rooms were, but the toad-woman got to her feet with a "hem, hem" and began to reiterate what she'd said in her sickly speech to the students. **

"**Madam, we heard before," Snape said silkily—a dangerous sign. **

"**Excuse me Professor," she said in a voice like poisoned honey. "I believe you've interrupted me." **

"**Have I?" he asked sarcastically. **

"**I believe so." She remained silent as though waiting for something. Snape snorted derisively and turned away. "Hem, hem," she coughed fakeily. **

"**If you're waiting for him to apologize for interrupting, you've got another thing coming," Renee said. The witch turned to her, feigning surprise. **

"**Excuse me, I don't understand you."**

"**Sure you do. He's _not_ going to say anything. So you'd best give up and sit down."**

"**Well! I—I never!" She sat down with a flump and remained, fuming silently. The staff members who knew of her character exchanged sidelong, shocked glances; Delores Jane Umbridge (which was her name) never gave up so easily. **

"**I believe this meeting is over," Dumbledore said calmly, as though nothing had happened. "Good night, all." **

**McGonagall led Meg and Renee to the third floor. She pointed Meg to a door and when opened, it led to a study/office and behind a false window were her rooms. Renee was the next door over, another study/office, this one with room for crates and cages for her Magical Creatures. Her bedroom was behind a tapestry of a dragon. She smiled at it—it looked like one that had been hanging in her home years and years ago—back before it had all happened. **

"**Do you like it?" McGonagall asked hesitantly. "It was Dumbledore's idea."**

"**Is it the actual?" Renee asked, running a hand across the cloth. **

"**Yes, restored."**

"**Thank you. Oh…Professor?"**

"**Yes?" **

"**If you see Snuffles roaming around, could you please send him here? I've been longing to speak with him for years."**

"**I understand…yes. I will see to it that he finds his way here."**

"**Thank you."**

OOO

"Ah, Dogbreath, there you are!" I looked up from a last stolen sausage as Professor McGonagall came down the corridor toward me. I barked a sullen greeting—I hadn't been able to find Renee anywhere and it was getting on my nerves.

"I believe Professor Eraque is waiting on the third floor, in the office to the right of portrait of the drunken monks singing." I stood and ran off, and barely heard her calling after me that _my_ rooms were in the empty classroom to the left of the Gryffindor Tower. I barked to let her know I'd heard her and bounded off to the third floor.

I transformed in the secret wardrobe behind the drunken monks and pulled out the Marauders' Map. No one was anywhere near—they were all in bed or getting ready for bed, except for Dumbledore, who was pacing his office. I chuckled, watching him and remembered how many times we'd check, just to see how many hours a day he spent pacing. I left the secret room and entered Renee's office.

I shuddered looking at the cages around the room—cages in general frightened me, as they reminded me too much of a certain terribly cold, terribly frightening, terrible prison in the North Sea—can we all guess what I'm talking about here?

I stared at the tapestry. It was the one of the dragon, protecting her eggs from anything. I brushed my hand across the cloth lovingly—this had once hung in the bedroom of Renee's flat, a place where I'd spent a good portion of my time. (A/N: Bad Russet! No gutter-mind!)

As I brushed my hand over the red dragon's eye I pulled back as it rolled away.

"Sweet!" I breathed as it revealed a secret set of rooms. I was standing in a small sitting room that connected to a bedroom. I assumed the closed door leading off the bedroom was the bathroom. There was no sign of Renee, so I entered the bedroom and then I heard it: she was singing.

One of her favorite past-times was singing in the shower. She would sing mushy oldies like stuff from Celestina Warbleck, or newer stuff by the Weird Sisters. I even caught her singing some Muggle songs—and those were my favorites. "Oldies but goodies," she had always called them. I lounged on the bed, listening to her sing in that pure, sweet voice of hers.

She was singing my favorites: "Here Comes My Baby" by the Tremoloes, "Sugar-Pie Honey-Bun," by the Four Tops, and "Build Me Up, Buttercup," by the Foundations. I smiled listening to her, and even hummed along to the words I remembered. I leaned back and waited for her to come out.

Eventually, she did, dressed in pj bottoms and a tank-top. She gasped and jumped back into the bathroom. I sat up. Slowly she came out again.

"Your voice is as sweet as it ever was," I said. She stared at me with wide eyes, her rose-petal lips parted slightly in surprise or shock. I smiled shyly. "Renee?"

"Sirius?" she whispered. "I can't believe it's really you."

"How can I make you believe?" I asked standing up and taking hold of her hands. "How can I make you believe that it's really me?"

She said nothing, just squeezed my hands tighter, as if not believing they were solid. I slowly drew her in closer and began to hum "The Music of the Night," from _the Phantom of the Opera_. She closed her eyes and suddenly grabbed me in a tight embrace, as if afraid I might disappear.

"It is you…" she whispered. I laughed softly.

"Who did you think I was?" I asked. She said nothing, just held me tighter. I leaned down and softly kissed her, as I'd been longing to do for fifteen years. She gasped and then returned my kiss, passionately. I was reminded of the night we'd first met…

OOO

_Every day he saw her as she passed him in the corridor, during the passing period between Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Most days she walked with a group of Ravenclaw girls—her friends. Other days, she was with Ravenclaw Quidditch Beater Cody Jacobs. Some days she was alone. He sighed over her so much that James had gone as far as to threaten him with the Muggle Studies student who had set up a physiatric help hot spot. He had then continued his sighing in private, and only occasionally sighed in front of James. It was those few times when he had to tell James that he 'needed more oxygen'. _

_Sirius finally learned her name when, in fifth year, Remus came back from his first prefect meeting and told him his "totally unreturned crush of four school years and four summers was the smartest thing on two feet and was the Ravenclaw prefect who knew what she was doing." Her name was Renee Eraque, and from then on, Sirius spent his History of Magic classes doodling her name onto scraps of parchments and writing her love letters that all, naturally, got burned before James could see what he was writing._

_Finally, over winter holidays, they were formally introduced at the New Year's Eve ball—the first and last of its kind for a hundred years before and after it. There they had danced one dance, during which they had spoken not a word to each other, but his love for her was obvious and she seemed to return it, though having her own boyfriend. _

_The first time they spoke was three days later. It was her birthday—obvious by the small presents exchanged at breakfast that day and the loud firecrackers set off by some of the boys in her House. Sirius had stopped her in the corridor outside Defense class, and finally spoke to her. _

"_Um, Renee," he said. She turned at the sound of her name. _

"_Hello Sirius," she said quietly. He simply stared at her for a moment. "Was there something you wanted?" He had quickly improvised. He actually had had no idea why he'd stopped her, other than to see her. He smiled and pulled his wand out. She looked from it to his face nervously. _

"_Happy birthday," he said simply, pulling from the wand a single red rose. He handed it to her with a polite bow, not his usual flamboyant and mocking ones. She took the flower tenderly. _

"_Thank you," she whispered. "But I'm afraid I'll kill it."_

_He took it back tapped it with his wand and gave it back. "There," he said. "Now it will only die when you do. Which, I hope, will not be for a _very_ long time." She laughed and took it lovingly. _

"_Thank you."_

"_You're welcome." He bowed again, holding the door open and smiled as she passed. "And I hope we have a chance to speak again…or dance…"_

_She smiled and sat down. Her friends gathered around to admire the rose and Sirius's friends were shocked that he had finally made a move on his love life. She turned in her seat to smile at him again, and he grinned back. Now all he had to worry about was Cody Jacobs. Once he was out of the way, Renee was all his. And then they could dance all they wanted…_

OOO

As we sat in her tiny living room at midnight, I conjured up two tankards of Butterbeer and gave her one.

"I've heard from a very reliable source that this stuff is very good at midnight," I commented lightly, tossing one to her. She smiled and caught it, moving closer to me on the couch. We continued our conversations about our friends, what we'd been doing the past few years, and what we were going to do. Somewhere in the castle, a clock struck one.

"I'm so glad you found me," she whispered after a few minutes of silence, starring into the fire.

"I'm glad I found you too," I said, stroking her hair. She snuggled closer to me, and sighed with happiness. I hummed the tune for "The Music of the Night" again, and she smiled. When I finished she looked up at me.

"That was the song we danced to at the New Year's Eve Ball," she said. I nodded. "You still remember that?"

"Don't you?" I asked, then kissed her…


	6. A Halloween WHAT?

OOO

Chapter Six: A Halloween _What?_

OOO

The next few weeks passed by in a haze—a blur. I spent my days tailing Harry and his friends, or sitting in my rooms—which were as comfortable as any teacher's. My nights were spent either dreaming _of_ Renee or dreaming _with_ Renee. I spent many a night with her, talking late and falling asleep on her couch with my arms around her.

Often, on those nights, we laughed about how stupid or silly we'd been during our Hogwarts years. Sometimes I told her about the Order—which she and Meg had joined upon their return from Ireland. She, in return, told me about her classes that day, out on the grounds with years one through seven—one of those classes, I attended invisible.

Harry, for reasons unfathomable to me, had selected Care of Magical Creatures as one of his third year electives. I had found more useful studies to fill my time with—I'd taken Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. I didn't see how any of the four had helped with Auror studies, but I'd gotten on fine until that devastating October, and I was sure Harry would be okay too.

I found, now that I had returned to Hogwarts, that I was glad Harry had taken Care of Magical Creatures. It provided me the opportunity to see Renee at time other than the middle of the night. I told him, when he came to visit me in my rooms one evening, that I was terribly sorry I'd laughed at him for taking Magical Creatures. He'd told me it was okay and that he simply had wanted an easy class.

Care of Magical Creatures class, I now found, was much more interesting than I'd ever thought. Harry's fifth year class was not very advanced, and I found myself on par with most of them.

In their third year, they'd had an encounter with a hippogriff, and spent the rest of the year observing flobberworms. Fourth year was mainly devoted to the new breed of Blast-Ended Skrewts. The remainder of the year had consisted of unicorns and nifflers. This year held the anticipation of being just as interesting—or just as boring.

But I overheard many of the boys in the class sighing that any class taught by so hot a professor would never be boring. When I relayed this news to Renee, she merely laughed and scolded me for pouting.

"They're so cute, these boys," she said one night, snuggling close to me.

"Thanks, and I'm not?" I said, drawing away, feigning hurt.

"Would I say such a thing?" Of course, we'd laughed at that.

September rolled into October and I found life a bit more interesting. Harry and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Delores Jane Umbridge, did not—I repeat _not_—get along. He had already had a week of detention with her for merely telling her that Voldemort had indeed returned, and he got a week more for the same. Normally, I don't mind detentions—I encourage the behavior that lands one in detention in the first place—but the torture that woman used…oh, it made my blood boil. I simply wanted to take her, and shake her, and smack her upside the head. Sadly and unfortunately, I could do none of the three. But there was something far more interesting that made life worth-while.

On the first day of October, Dumbledore announced at breakfast that on the evening of Halloween, October thirty-first, at precisely six-thirty p.m., there was to be a grand masquerade ball, with feast preceding. Everyone was to wear their finest Muggle costumes, and a mask. Food, drink, dance, and fun would be had, and music would be provided by a student band.

The female population of Hogwarts castle, naturally, erupted.

The male population, on the other hand, groaned, slumped in their seats, and groaned some more. Dancing, they were heard to say in tones that spoke volumes of self-pity, and disgust. _Dancing_…

Harry, of course, brought Ron to me that evening and they complained incessantly. I merely smiled, and asked who they'd be going with. They didn't answer.

"Ask soon," I advised. "If you don't snap someone up in the first week or so, you'll end up with someone who absolutely hates you, or someone hideously ugly, or…"

"Yeah," Ron said. "It all gives me de-ja-vou to last year. The Yule Ball…"

"Oh, God, _that_," Harry groaned. "_Don't_ remind me. Parvati—"

"Padma—"

"A nightmare," they finished together. We laughed.

"No, I'm serious," I said.

"In more ways than one," Harry sniggered. I glared at the old joke resurfacing again. Ron quickly smothered a laugh into a bad cough. After taking a sip of water, he choked, while Harry barely managed a straight face, patting his choking and wheezing best friend on the back.

"Stop it," I said as Ron regained his composure. "Ask someone this week. Then you won't have to worry about it."

"How do you expect us to find someone in a week?" Harry said indignantly.

"You've both got someone in the back of your minds—I can see it in your eyes. All right. We meet back here on Friday evening, and all three of us have dates. Agreed?"

"Yes," they said in unison. They stood up and headed for the door. My eyes narrowed.

"Promise?" I asked sharply. They sighed, caught, and muttered incoherently. "Promise."

"We promise," they uttered sullenly, as I chuckled.

OOO

Over the next week, I followed Harry as he was hunted down and interrogated by girls who wanted to go with him to the Ball. Frightened, he turned them all down, and went on the hunt for his girl. I had an idea who it was, as he was coming very close to stalking her.

Cho Chang was a very pretty sixth year, with long black hair, and pretty eyes. Harry had had a growing crush on her for the last three years and was finally making his move. But every time he went to ask her, she was surrounded by a pack of giggling girls. He'd had the same problem last year. When he told me about his dilemma on Wednesday evening, I told him to just go and ask her for a word, and if she really liked him back, as I suspected, she'd go. I also, nastily I know, reminded him of a certain promise he'd made. Am I mean, or what?

The next day he caught her before dinner and asked her to go to the ball with him, with no sort of tact whatsoever. Ah, well. Not all boys have the finesse it takes to ask girls out. But she accepted him with grace, and that was that.

Ron, it seemed, had a little more difficultly in plucking up the courage to ask his chosen date. Hermione could be very intimidating, I suppose, but having never seen her that way, I really wasn't one to tell. Ron did however, manage to ask her on Friday morning, and she had glowed and beamed at him for the rest of the day.

I had a bit more trouble. Renee was behind on lesson plans that week, and so I hadn't been visiting her that week. I also, however, had made the promise to the boys, to have a date by Friday night. However, I had no way of taking her a word of what I wanted—I couldn't leave Harry. Finally, though I hated the idea, I had to leave him for five minutes. I sprinted to her room during Harry's Charms class—it was nearest—and left, on her bed, a note asking her to come to the ball with me, and a single white rose. Then I dashed back to Harry with none the wiser to my absence—not that anyone knew I was there in the first place, but, whatever.

I went as a dog to dinner that night, after putting a Disillusionment Charm on myself. When I nudged her hand she dropped a note saying "Of course, thank you." I whuffed quietly, and ran back to where Harry was sitting to see if I could steal a bit of baked potato.

In my rooms that night, we all laughed over our pathetic ways of asking, and congratulated each other on their pick. We sympathized with Harry, as he had three more nights of detention to serve with the hideous Umbridge woman. Lastly we breathed sighs of relief that now the hard part of the ball was done, and all that was left, basically was waiting…and learning to dance properly.

It was going to be a splendid ball, I decided as I fell asleep that night. And we'd be wearing masks, so perhaps, if I asked Dumbledore, I could leave the Invisibility Cloak off that night. Splendid indeed…


	7. Dance, Dance, Dance

A/N: You have no idea how much I hate myself for this. I am so incredibly sorry that this took so long. Please, forgive me if you can. Sirius and Renee plushies to one and all. Thank you so much for bearing with my awful updating. I heart all of you!

Thank you from poor Renee, who had to wait just as long as you to answer the unasked question of Sirius, who took far too long to get the words out. Again, I'm truly sorry. Thanks again. Now, I'll shut up and let you read.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter and Co. or "The Music of the Night" from _Phantom of the Opera_. If I did, I wouldn't be here.

OOO

Chapter Seven: Dance, Dance, Dance

OOO

As the thirty-first drew nearer, Harry and Ron found it harder to slip away to see me in the evenings. Their teachers were cramming in all the work they could before the three day holiday and the boys had the added weight to their book bags. Not to mention that every day was one less day to prepare them for O.W.L.s. Lastly, they had the extracurricular refresher course in ballroom dancing—they'd all learned last year for the Yule Ball, but, as the teachers suspected or knew, they'd all basically forgotten how.

I also enjoyed the dance lessons immensely, as it gave me an hour every other night to let off the steam of my angry frustration at doing nothing. For that was exactly what I was doing—nothing. Harry was not being attacked any time soon, and more and more I began to feel that my coming to Hogwarts was merely to please me and get me out of the infernal house. Renee agreed, and I began to slack my duties, spending more of my time reading in the library, flying alone at the Quidditch Pitch when no one was around, and trying to find ways to amuse myself.

"At least I was able to do stuff at Headquarters," I complained to Renee. "I was able to talk to Remus, and clean, and wage war on the house of my forefathers. That could at least, sometimes, be entertaining."

"Listen, at least you're not depressed anymore," she replied soothingly, running her fingers through my hair. "You're near Harry, and Ron, and Hermione, and the other Weasleys—don't think I haven't noticed. You're quite attached to our friendly red-heads. And think of this…if you hadn't come, you wouldn't have found me."

"Yes…that is an upside, isn't it?" We had laughed. I found we spent most of our time laughing, which was better than at Grimmauld Place—the place where laughing cost you an eardrum to dear old Mum.

Finally, the waiting was over…it was here, the thirty-first. Boys all over the castle were jumpy, jittery, and nervous all day, sitting around Common Room fires, afraid of making fools of themselves while the girls spent the entire day ignoring homework and giggling while they got ready. Yes, it took most of the female population _all day_ to get ready for the Halloween Masquerade.

I had gotten special permission from Dumbledore to go visible. I met Harry and Ron in the hallway outside my rooms. We were all dressed in our Muggle finest—black suits, ties, shoes shined, hair combed for the only time in our lives (ha, ha), with our masks already in place.

"You boys look…dashing," I commented quietly to Harry and Ron as a group of Hufflepuff guys passed us on their way to their Common Room to get changed. Ron groaned and Harry laughed. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Padma said that last year," Ron said. "She was being sarcastic. I looked horrible."

"That's why we're not in dress robes this year," Harry said. "And didn't Fred and George get you new ones anyway?"

"Yes, but, still. I can't believe Mum even _thought_ of buying me something as disgusting as those last year."

"They were awful," I said. Ron stared at me. "I've seen the pictures." Ron dropped his face into his hands and groaned in embarrassment as Harry and I chuckled heartily. We made it to the Entrance Hall in one piece each and settled in to wait for our dates.

Cho arrived first, dazzlingly beautiful in pale blue and creamy white, her dark hair looped intricately through and around itself. Harry and she drew off to a corner where, we suspected, more than talking was going on. Ron sniggered to himself until Hermione showed up—amazing in royal purple. They left me standing on my own and went to their own corner. It was my turn to laugh—Ron was doing what he'd been laughing at Harry for doing. Ah, young love.

The doors were about to open, and I was worried Renee wasn't going to show up. It seemed to me that mine was the only date who hadn't found her way to the Entrance Hall yet. I prayed that she wasn't going to make a 'grand entrance'.

She did.

She appeared at the top of the marble staircase as if from nowhere, resplendent in a dress that looked as though it had been dyed by the sea. Strains of blue and green mixed and swirled around each other and shimmered in the candlelight. Curls of white made it look like waves and the silver trimmed edges and the mask that matched glittered like spells. Her long mahogany hair was caught up in a twisted knot, the ends curled and cascading down from it.

I slowly climbed the steps to meet her. Boys all around the hall stood staring, mouths open, oblivious to the hostile glares from their partners. As I led Renee through the Hall, the crowd parted to make way. I noted Harry grinning from behind his mask, and Ron gave me the thumbs up. Even Hermione was smiling, while Fred and George—obvious with their red hair—were giving us cat-calls and wolf-whistles. I grinned to see Severus Snape, unmasked and partner-less, scowling at me like the world was about to end. Renee laughed her beautiful laugh, and the doors opened before us to reveal the most splendid sight the Great Hall ever held.

The ice palace of the Yule Ball could not hold a candle to the enchanted forest of the Halloween Masquerade. Great magical trees grew from the walls, while vines draped the starry ceiling. Glowing faeries flitted about, leaving glittering trails in their wakes. The ground was covered in a soft mossy-like substance, and small round tables for six were draped in green cloth that glittered with veins of silver and gold thread. In the green canopy, there were also glittering sparks, as every once in a while, a leaf grew golden on a silver vine.

"Such magnificence has never been seen in the history of the Great Hall," a voice behind us whispered. We turned, smiling, to Albus Dumbledore, who had Minerva McGonagall on his arm. "I hope you enjoy it," he continued, "and you are the couple I expect to see in the first dance." His blue eyes twinkled, as he winked and swept away.

Renee smiled at me before looking after Dumbledore. "What was all that about the first dance?" she asked.

"I've no idea," I commented, "but I expect he wants us to start the dancing. Of course…we started the dancing at the Gryffindor Christmas Party, back in seventh year."

"Oh, you're right!" she whispered. "I'd forgotten."

"Which song was that?"

"You remembered it a month ago…" she said, exasperated. "'The Music of the Night'."

"Of course," I said. I'd just been teasing her. I'd been singing that song for months—since early August when I'd found her letter. She saw the mischief and laughed.

"You were checking to see if I remembered, weren't you?" she said. When I grinned slyly, she laughed more, and threw her arms around my neck. "I love you, you rascal," she whispered.

"I know," I said. She laughed again and led my over to the table where Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Cho were already seated. "Mind if we sit down?" I asked.

"Course not," Harry said immediately, while Hermione nodded. Cho said nothing, and Ron was a little too preoccupied staring at Renee to say anything. So, we sat.

The dinner was a magnificent affair, and the house elves were practically beaming with pride when Dumbledore called them up to take a bow so they could see how much we appreciated their hard work. But I could barely wait for the food to vanish and the tables to be cleared away, the dance floor opened, and the musicians tuned. It was a masquerade _ball_ after all, and I wanted to dance.

We all stood when Dumbledore did, at the end of the feast, raising his wand. The tables and chairs flew to the edges of the room, the punch bowls were refilled, and the doors to the Entrance Hall were flung wide. In marched an orchestral band, instruments in hand. The Hall fell silent as they mounted the stage Dumbledore had conjured, and tuned up. When they were ready, their lead singer nodded to the Headmaster, who turned to the congregated students and faculty and said four words: "Let the dancing begin."

The students exploded into cheers, and the first few notes were played, softly, but growing steadily louder. I glanced at Renee, who looked back at me.

"You don't even have to ask," she murmured. I smiled and took her hand, leading her out onto the cleared space of the dance floor. We were the fist couple to venture out, swaying to the Music of the Night.

"_Nighttime sharpens_

_Heightens each sensation…_

_Darkness wakes and_

_Stirs imagination…_

_Silently the senses _

_Abandon their defenses…_

_Helpless to resist the notes I write_

_For I compose the music of the night…"_

Dancing. We were together, finally. It had been so long…

"_Slowly, gently_

_Night unfurls its splendor…_

_Grasp it, sense it_

_Tremulous and tender…_

_Hearing is believing_

_Music is deceiving_

_Hard as lightning, soft as candlelight_

_Dare you trust the music of the night?"_

Dancing. Like we had so many years before. I was drowning in her eyes, melting in her arms. Just like so long ago…

"_Close your eyes _

_For your eyes will only tell the truth_

_And the truth isn't what you want to see…_

_In the dark it is easy to pretend…_

_That the truth is what it ought to be…"_

Dancing. She closed her eyes, and rested her beautiful head against my chest. I put my arms around her and held her close, never wanting to let go. I closed my eyes too, resting my cheek against the top of her head. We let the music consume our souls, and the dance consume our bodies.

"_Softly, deftly_

_Music shall caress you…_

_Hear it, feel it_

_Secretly posses you…_

_Open up your mind_

_Let your fantasies unwind_

_In this darkness which_

_You know you cannot fight_

_The darkness of the music of the night…"_

Dancing. The steps were familiar, a remnant of the past. The more we danced, the more we remembered. We were lost in each other, two hearts that beat as one, faster and faster as the music swelled.

"_Close your eyes_

_Start a journey through a _

_Strange new world…_

_Leave all thoughts of the world _

_You knew before…_

_Close your eyes_

_And let music set you free…_

_Only then can you belong to me…"_

Dancing. Her eyes began to fill with tears. My hand brushed her hair away from her face. I stroked her hair, her cheek. I pulled her close again, and let her cry—alone for so many years, and now we were finally together again. There had never been a moment as perfect as this.

"_Floating, falling_

_Sweet intoxication…_

_Touch me, trust me _

_Savor each sensation…_

_Let the dream begin_

_Let you darker side give in_

_To the power of the music that I write_

_The power of the music of the night…"_

Dancing. The way we had before. And for a moment, we were back in that instant, years ago, with James and Lily on one side, Meg and Mark on the other, Remus and Peter cheering from the sidelines. The Hall faded and we lost ourselves in the memories, in the dance, in the moment.

"_Only you can make my song take flight._

_It's over now, the music of the night."_

Dancing. We whispered the last lines to each other as we had done so long ago. The music ended, the dance was over, but we continued on, staring into each other's eyes. Cheers erupted around us as I kissed her. I didn't care anymore for propriety or ceremony. I loved her too much to deny her what her eyes were pleading me to do.

The kiss lasted a long time. We ignored the students around us, totally absorbed in each other. We broke apart, breathless, dizzy. I glanced up and saw Dumbledore over the top of her head. He smiled, nodded, and tipped his hat. I understood then, what he wanted me to do.

I drew her toward a dark, secluded niche. She sat down on the couch inside, and looked up at me. Slowly, I knelt before her.

"Renee," I said softly. "I…" I hesitated. Did she still want this of me? What if it was too soon? Too late? I firmly told my inner voice to shut up and ignored the lingering doubts.

"Yes?" she prompted. She was smiling, her eyes dancing, alive with that inner sunlight that I believed could not be extinguished.

"Renee, will…" I stopped again, and drew my wand from my sleeve. She looked confused, but intrigued.

"Will you marry me?" I asked simply, pulling from my wand a single red rose. I held it out to her, trying to control the shaking in my hands. She took the flower tenderly.

"Yes," she murmured, drawing me to my feet. "But you already knew that." I smiled against her lips as she kissed me. When we broke apart and turned around, we found the whole crowd staring at us, some cheering, most smiling, none silent. And in the front of the ranks was Dumbledore. He lifted his goblet to us with a smile. We smiled back. Wordlessly I gestured toward the doors. Renee nodded, and I led her away from the ball. A long walk on the grounds seemed implied, during which, if we had time, we might discuss the dance.

OOO

I suppose you wouldn't understand. There is so much for me now. Just as before, I had all I wanted. I had friends, and I had Harry, and the Weasley's, and all the others. I had Dumbledore and McGonagall. I had the Order. I had the memories of James and Lily.

I had found the sunlight that had been hiding for so long. I had found the fire in her eyes, that sunlight that shone so brightly…I had found that light that lit up even the darkest of my memories.

_I had my Renee. _

And I had a dance. A song. Words that made everything better, that made me remember all that I had. I had the Music of the Night.

OOO

**The End**. Fin. Complete. Finished. Done.

Thank you so very much for sticking with me on my first fic (even if it ended up being far longer, and far more drawn out than I wanted it to be). Thank you to my sister, Russet, as it's her fault that I updated this last chapter. Thank you to everyone else who waited so very long.

Now it's your turn to update, Curlz. 

If you have any questions, send me a message—I don't receive pidgeons, so the computer will have to do. Thanks again! Luv, Shadow


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